Accidental Ham

Awake from the dead

2010-02-12T14:15:00.002Z

A dear friend of mine : www.lauraslittleworld.wordpress.com reminded me that such things as bloggs do exist and in fact that my blogg does exist and has been poorly neglected over the last three years.

Before anyone calls the NSPCB I feel I should give it some tender Love and care and ressucitate it back to life...

So what have I done in the last three years?

My eating of ham is no longer accidental as my meat eating tendencies have returned
I am no longer a Northern student but a London professional
I am more silly and crazy than ever
I have given up biting my nails
I have given up dating silly boys that move to Australia
I now run half marathons

There's enough for now and I shall look out for some crazy things to write on here starting from today...

Murder mystery party tonight no doubt will bring much to comment on, fishnet stockings and red lipstick in hand I'm on my way to Essex... add stillettos and I'll fit right it perfectly

Luck and time is all I need!

2007-01-30T12:39:00.000Z

I finished work at 5am and started again at 8am... you think I have time to write here??? Do you ? DO YOU?

I am clasping a jacket potato and have wet hair as had no time to dry it this morning. After gulping a bottle of water I shall return to my hiding where I feel safe --- the library! Shiver!!

And this is all topped off this evening with a visit to a man (remaining namelsss) who this morning missed his flight due to "problems at customs"! Im scared!!

Wish me luck!

Excited biologists loose light!

2007-01-26T12:56:00.000Z

I was writing one of my assignments this morning and I was appauled at the following:

...in an excited state and looses light as it returns to the ground state...

It doesn't...unlike time light can't be lost... com'on biologists even you must have heard about energy transfer...conservation...no? ...oh dear! Not only that but the reason I worte this blasphemy was that I had 2 seconds before read a similar sentance in a published journal! Oh dear! Oh dear oh dear!

As if this was not enough I then replaced the word lost with emitted which understandably made me happy, but what did not make me happy was that I felt I could not change the word light to photon energy or something along these lines as it would be ambiguous and frowned upon!

Why oh why do I feel this way? It can't possibly be that I am a physical scientist afterall... can it?

Oh well having transfered to Bioscience I'm looking forward to next becomming excited because it seems...

...Excited biologists loose light!

What happened to the other 7 bongs?

2007-01-26T12:49:00.000Z

On a less scientific note...

I was walking to the library this morning wondering what to blogg about, and the clock tower struck 2. All very well but to the best of my knowledge it was 9 am...Now what would Big Ben have to say about that?

I want to know...

...What happened to the other 7 bongs?

The Emmathy law of time annhilation!

2007-01-26T12:29:00.000Z

Ok so Einstein was a pretty cool guy and I respect his science, but the saying is "if only I had more time". I never heard someone say " I would if only I had less time" as would happen if time was truely dilated.

Yeah I know we're not travelling at light speed bla bla bla... but I think I'm gonna come up with the "Emmathy law of time annhilation". Something along the lines of ...

"For every force that provides you with things to do, there is an equal and opposite force that contracts the time in which you have to do it"

...which will possibly, after later experimentation have an addition clause:
"The rate things get done is inversly proportional to the rate of time contraction"

In other words I apologise for my severe lack of blogging but time has been busy annhilating. In fact, by writing this post I have added another thing to my list ...keep up with blogg... and that in itself is causing time to annhilate!

All is just more proof of

The Emmathy law at time annhilation!

(In the name of science if you experience this please add your experimental data to the project and together we can be the next Einstein!)

Cold, Coffee, and Creature Comforts

2006-12-20T08:07:00.000Z

1) Strong coffee at 2am does not help you to sleep,

2) A cold does not help you to sleep,

3) Ibruprofen and paracetemol does not seem to combat my cold,

...I had a very very very bad night sleep...

This means I am grumpy and want the smaller things in life, like cereal, tiggers, bed, telly, cheesy girly films...

...but I have the christmas demons calling me to the shops and I don't think my poor head can cope with "here comes santa clause" , and I don't really care whose chimney santa got suck up...

I do however need bread and milk and should be nice to my family and actually purchase their presents before the end of christmas

... so to the shops I go..

Save me someone please...

TRUE LOVE MARK 2

2006-12-09T03:23:00.000Z

ADDED OBSERVATION...

another reason why science is my new true love is that I loose too uch sleep over it

night

Drinking...

2006-12-09T03:17:00.000Z

two hours seep last night,

5hours seep the night before,

and the night beforethat,

then two hours sleep again,

why oh why did i finish it all off with alcohol?

mind you there were baloons from the ceiling, fire eaters - they were hot!

and a huuuuge dude on th stage.

none the less i now have 5 hours before i have to go earn soe money tomorrow and i am in a state it seems of non repair

it will all be worth it though as with any luch i should recieve a packae from tesco tommotteo
tomorrow even

mmmmmmmmm cheesey goodness - just like the club i was just in
now im in bed and its nice
night night every body

drinking why oh why oh why??

Yesterday I was Happy, Today I am older, Tommorow I become a Zombie, But I have found my true love...

2006-12-07T12:32:00.000Z

Yesterday I was Happy...

I found a way to my lab that avoided "The dreaded big steps of doom!". I dont have a hatred for all steps just these, you see walking up and down them daily gives you a shiver every time you see them and now I have hills not steps and I am happy!!

Today I am Older...
Today is my birthday. Today I am old. Today I am sat at my computer desperately trying to get an assignment finished before 4 pm tomorrow. This will tke me at least 24 hours solid work! Happy Birthday Emmathy!

I am though still happy as I recieved a big huge cuddly jumper from my mother this morning and a huge pair of tigger slippers. These are my comfort whilst I contemplate ways to overcome Dialysis Related Amyloidosis.

hence...

Tommorow I become a Zombie...

Well wouldn't you after 24 hours discussing repeat proteins and covalent display?

And now I am thinking...

Last year the year I spent my birthday with my ex, the year before with my best friends, the years before with my ex ex! This year I spend my birthday with my work. Its seems my true love canges rom year to year and maybe this year I have reached enlightenment - my one true love is science! (and cheese!) Oh dear you geekdom has entered the building!

It makes sense though as this years love has lead me to do strange things that are against my best judgement...

1) I called in sick to work as too much uni work had made me ill
being an ex rest. asst. manager I do not aggree with this at all - it lets people down so I am ashamed!

2) I asked for tonight off work yesterday
same feelings about this as above

3) I find myself talking to people about science all the time
Like they care! who wants to know I managed to find out a principle of...

4) I get so into my work that I delve too deep
Only Im hoping science wont hurt me - but you never know!!!

Let's compare these to my previous loves

1) and 2) Sacrificing your life for your love:Avoiding everything you have to do unless it is related to your loved one

3) Yes well my nickname is TMD for a reason
who cares what I got up to with my loved one last night!

4) Delving too deep
A common problem - always too attached Emmathy!

So there we Have it Finally I know

My one true love is Science! NOooooooooooooooooooooo!

Stranger things have happened...or have they?

2006-11-30T20:54:00.000Z

Last Tuesday's walk to uni...

1) A little back cat and I made each other jump...
I was walking past a wall, I looked right, the cat looked up, we both went "squeak"! I have no idea why either of us was so shocked, afterall walls are for cats and pavements for homosapiens so no surprise there, nevertheless we both jumped out of our skin! I feel we bonded though!

2) Walking up the dreaded green bank of death I realised the university halls were stapeled together...
not by paper staples you understand cause that would be silly, but "leodis" the bright blue halls I walk past every day does actually look like a building a child has modelled from some mikano set. And yes it does look like its heald together by objects resembling giant sized staples.

3) There was no goat in the back garden...
not mine, thought there is no goat there either (or at least I hope not!) , but my house mate pointed out that in a garden near the dreaded green bank of death, there lives a goat. This lead to a politically incorrect conversation about what could be wanted from a goat and although we hoped that he would be living his life happily - playing on the swings and slide meant for the 3 year old that obviously resides with him - unfortunately we concluded that his aim in life was probably to become fat enough to make other members of his community fatter. Today I was saddened by the absense of the goat...

... a pause in memory of the sacrificial goat...

...we love you goat!

4) And finally my journey ended in the lab where the strangest thing of all occurred...
I was in a surprisingly sociable, awake and jovial mood.
-I found our lack of results amusing instead of annoying,
-My calculator broke and I considered it a good opportunity to get back to grips with my
mental arithmatic,
-The smell of the reagents made me feel at home rather than sick!

Tuesday was a very very strange day!! (by my standards at least!)

Inspiration downfall

2006-11-25T12:49:00.000Z

I have none...

the only things that enter my mind at the moment are: when I can next sleep; how long I can stay in bed; how I can rise above my tiredness and manage not to throw food all over the place at work; and (of course) angiogenesis, comparitive protein structure prediction, and surface plasmon resonance...

the rest of my mind is a blank white screen filled only with headache...

Sorry I will wake up in a couple of weeks and the world will be a better place.

Recurring Themes!

2006-11-19T20:15:00.000Z

Oh dear it seems my hatred of sugary foodstuffs and my intriguing drunken tales dominate this blog at present! I apologise for the repetitions, but my week has been full only of sleeples nights and assignment deadlines, so a sugar and alcohol overload at the end of the week is inevitable!

I am a hibrid bioscientist - waitressing machine - am I not cool?!

More exciting posts are promised over the comming days - but for now we shall relax "Precious" and let the hobbitsies take over the telebox in the corner of the room!

Farewell precious, the exciting tales await you!

Drunken Aquisitions - part 2

2006-11-19T20:09:00.000Z

Aquisitions from last night's antics:

1) Hiccups - lots of them - almost endless!

2) A really spicy curry whose sole purpose seemed to gain revenge for us ordering it so late - even the Kormas tickled our tongues!

3) A messey kitchen - mainly from a friend's suggestion: "I know I'll make the chiapattes and save us all money" - great plan - oh flour snow I love thee!

4) Emails from the confused people I managed to message at 4am!

Oh dear Emmathy - oh dear!

A waffle too far!

2006-11-19T19:58:00.000Z

It seems that one waffle a day is a pleasant treat...

...however after an 8 hour shift one must fight the urge to satisfy the sugar cravings by eating 3 waffles in a row, for after this almighty consumption one feels rather sick! It seems the waffles I used to love so dear are momentarilly my worst enemy...

A Waffle too far!

A Chocolate Tragedy

2006-11-13T11:13:00.000Z

Main discovery from last week:

...I don't like chocolate...

After craving for days for a piece of Terries Chocolate Orange to relieve stress I finally aquired some only to find the melting substance in my mouth sickly and tasteless.

I seem to be following in the footsteps of my dear Nana and I can no longer enjoy the pleasures most girls find in chocolate. This is indeed...

A chocolate tragedy

The Elusive Breakfast Receptacles

2006-11-13T10:21:00.000Z

Untill last year I had no reason to doubt the loyalty of my crockery. I would wake up in the morning and there in the cupboard waiting for me would be a bowl, attentive and ready to receive the weetabix and milk I have made an integral part of my day...

...However, the mysterious ways of the challenge master Garthanial last year, meant that he developed a magical spell that made all the bowls ascend the 3 flights of stairs into his room. There they would culture for days untill being rescued by a desperate breakfast eater, who had become bored of the novelty of eating cereal from a sauce pan...

...And now, my first purchase as a grown up, was a set of crockery (wilkinson crockery, but crockery none the less) which among other components, consisted of two lovely large breakfast bowls. These added to the family of lovely large breakfast bowls created by my house mates...

...But alas, it seems this new family of bowls have a conspiracy against us, for they are not attentive, nor loyal. They are insistant on either hiding dirty in the washing up bowl, or migrating to some crevis in the house that only they know about...

...And so, my hatred of the bowls groweth every morn...

Oh the magical, mysterious ways of:

The Elusive Breakfast Receptacles

Drunken Aquisitions

2006-11-12T02:00:00.000Z

Where did these come from?...

1) Battered Badminton Set complete with cover
2) Really nice Burgandy wrap

Both discovered the morning after the night before!

Suggestions on a post card please!!!

Aspirations of a Bath Tub

2006-11-12T00:08:00.000Z

Everything seems to be wanting to be something it is not... except my bath tub...
...which is quite happy being mimicked by the shower, with the satisfaction of knowing he is simply a bath tub who offers so much pleasure to all.

Yes I am mad! But I did promise to offer intriguing titles with little substance!

My cat thinks she's dog, offering her paw in exchange for attention, wagging her tail with pleasure, and making a strange growling noise in stead of meowing;

My house thinks it's a fridge aming to preserve and chill everything within it;

My toaster thinks its a Jack in the Box throwing every piece of bread up as soon as you push it down...

But my main grumble is that my shower is not happy being a shower. It seems he is apiring to be a bath, for every time I shower the cubicle fills up untill it becomes like a walk in bath, and a luke warm one at that. Perhaps simply a blocked drain issue I hear you say, but no, Mr Musle teamed up with my sink plunger and our chemical army just doesnt seem to be able to stop the shower from wanting to be a bath. So for now, I have a limited showering time before the water level rises above the bottom of the door. In this case a tidal wave floods the bathroom and then the bath is really not happy. Oh the joys of student living!

And the lesson?...

We should all aspire in life, to be like the bath tub.

Almost Vegatarian

2006-11-11T14:26:00.000Z

I used to like my steaks raw, dripping with blood and mooing on the plate, not to mention my Dad's roast lamb Sunday dinners - but alas I gave it all up in August for a life of vegetables and fish - or so I thought...

It seems the vegetarian world (or technically fishtarian) is rebelling against this particular ex meat lover, for in the last week I have lost in the following ways:

1) I consumed a chicken drumstick whilst under the influence of alcohol (it saved my drunken sole I tell you)

2) The only sandwitch left in the canteen was a Brie and Bacon Baguette (It was meat or starvation - what's a girl to do?)

3) And finally... Accidental Ham... a boring story with an intriguing title
my croque saumon at work was replaced by a croque monseur, and my desperate tastebuds failed to notice the presence of the ham untill too late.

So I am officially the world's worst fishtarian and the only thing suitable for my life progression is now to become the world's worst blogger. My good friend the able and whitty author of the Bran Report suggested a blog full of boring stories with intriguing titles, so he is to blame for the mess that this will become.

So it would seem my sense has left me as I endevour to actually write something that someone will want to look at even if solely to critisise my hideous punctuation, spelling and grammar.

Greetings bloggers from Emmathy, almost vegatarian